cuatro leches cake (4 milks cake)

At one of our near-monthly family dinners, one of us bought a shitload of shrimp.

I think it was me.

I was seized by a school-induced cerebral malaise that left me unable to decide on how many pounds of shrimp were appropriate for 4 people. When growing up in an Italian/Southern home, there is no such thing as a small portion. I, of course, bought close to 15 pounds.

Nothing about 15 pounds of shrimp is even mildly appropriate.

I was clearly confused.

"Shrimp-shitload" lead to another family dinner party the following week in an attempt to make good on the overabundance of shrimp.

Rebbecca suggested paella and it was on like Donkey Kong.

Through a series of covert conference calls stolen on the company line during working hours, we decided that the paella was a beast best spearheaded by our combined culinary expertise. The others would work as our henchmen. Our paella was to be a patchwork quilt of effort. Someone would bring peas, someone else mussels, etc. At the last minute we'd toss it together blissfully toasting glasses of sangria to our piece meal of love.

And so this entry was supposed to be about paella.
However, what we expected to be a graceful swan dive turned out to be a bit of a belly flop. Still a dive but a little awkward and, well, floppy.

And it involved our bellies.
I'll thank you to roll with my metaphor.

The paella wasn't bad but it had room for improvement.I'd like to say that this cuatro leches cake was the Greg Louganis to our belly-down.

Like Greg Louganis the cake is thick and strong, able to take a beating, holding up beautiful, toned and supple, surrounded by tons of liquid and the associated pressure.
It's the density of the cake that makes it an ace at absorbing all three of those sweet, gooey leches. The fourth, of course, sits like a golden crown on top of each layer.In addition to being dense and crumbly (qualities which I do not attribute to Mr. Louganis), it was sweet and golden brown (qualities which I *do* attribute to Mr. Louganis).
Someone should have written a book about it.
Besides all that it looks damn good in a Speedo.
Just kidding about the Speedo.
On the cake that is.

The sauce is soft and sweet and the dulce de leche adds a nice smooth place to suckle at the teet of mother sugar cane.
Slices are best cut Karen-Carpenter-thin as a mere glance at this cake could send you convulsing into sugar shock.
If candyland has a Basilisk this is it.

I highly suggest giving it to the mean people in your life.
It might make them sweeter.
Or
maybe just give it to the mean people in your life who
also happen to be lactose intolerant .