Spring Garden

"Weed" may be the only four-letter word in the English language I don't use.

As a young collegiate lad, I decided to indulge my underfed bio nerdiness by supplementing my high falooten design degree with a certification in western herbalism at the New York Open Center under Peeka Trenkle.
Those classes fuelled a budding interest in food and health that ushered in a major change in the way I thought about food, and of course, how I ate.
Ever since I have been known to get a little witchy on occasion.
I'm not ashamed to dig up a root or two , and if you cough around me I'm going to try to dose you with garlic.
Enuf said.

So, this is the long way of saying I would like to introduce you to my Garden.
Garden, Reader. Reader Garden.
She may look a little toe-up now, but after she combs her hair its going to start getting green around here.
In addition to a few hot photos , you can expect gardening tips I have picked up along the way , as well as benefiting from my ethnobotanical knowledge (not that I am an expert or a medical professional or anything so respect my amatuerity and don't go suing me. Instead go to a doctor. p.s. that was the disclaimer).


"Weed" might be the only four letter word in the English I don't use,
as evidenced in the picture above I like to keep it on the wild side.
If strangers are friends you haven't met yet, then the same can be said for weeds.
They are nothing less then misunderstood plants, and learning to control your pruning finger can be a rich educational experience.
Gardens are , after all, one of the last places where we hold onto some part of our illicit past as hunter gatherers. Modern as we may feel ourselves to be, we often carry around plants as heirlooms- passed down to us like ancestral china.
We invite plants to sit on our windowsills and in our offices, pack them like over sized shirts into the grids of our cities and nurture them in our backyards.

But every garden has its outliers.
The wild has only been mildly domesticated.
In a feral garden there is always something new and once the growing season starts I'm always finding some interesting foreign leafy thing to look up.
Adding to the field book Que are butterflies , birds , assorted pollinators and the associated riff raff that follow them.
I actively try to recruit wildlife who appreciate the diversity and often reward me by popping in to "drop off" new seeds.
These are my gems.
Very often the very plants Ive been contemplating purchasing at the garden center actually turn up unannounced in the beds provided I give them a chance to grow.
I like the idea of a garden as constantly evolving with its own desires and personality.
While I make an effort to tidy up the beds I give it some room to breathe.
I'm on the liberal left when it comes to border patrol.
What can I say?
I like it a little hairy.

Welcome to my garden.

Ruby Red Grapefruit Granita with Rosewater and Honey

Grapefruits are like God's gift.
A ruby red grapefruit is one of the last bastions in adulthood where you are given silent permission to sweeten the hell out of something without being reprimanded.
Even if you are 65 and have diabetes no one will bat an eye as you sprinkle sugar all over your grapefruit half , spoon in one hand and insulin in the other.
With a breakfast like that who among us wouldn't feel blessed?

This was my first time making a granita and while I knew it would be super simple I had no idea how defeated I would feel afterward.
There was no " Holy crap I'm a culinary genius!" ego stroke to be found here folks.
But the sophisticated fancy pants points come in here with the name.
Say it out loud with me.

GRANITA!

Sometimes sparkly Italian words give you eat cred.
So cut that "water-ice" talk and let yourself feel superior.

Despite my opening sweetener rant , I went for the gold here and swapped out the sugar for some honey.
I have always wanted to keep bee's and have some really great jars from family friends in the Ukraine but opted for a reserve jar I bought straight from a keeper on a dirt road in Hawaii.
This is a great place for a flowery honey.
It compliments the gentle perfume of rosewater and softens the grapefruit into something pooling and breezy.

* I don't have my notes in front of me while I'm writing this but this is pretty darn close. I will check back with exactly what it is I did soon I promise.

Ruby Red Grapefruit Granita with Honey and Rosewater and Honey

• One Grapefruit juiced with pulp included
  
• one half cup water
  
• 1/4 cup honey
  
• 2 tbsp rosewater

Heat the water and honey until bubbles form.
Once cooled added the grapefruit juice and rosewater.
Mix well.
At this point you've got options.

1) Freeze in ice cube trays and blend up in a food processor.

2) Freeze in a plastic freezer bag.
Once frozen double bag and beat against the concrete / smash with a mallet.
Of course this is the method I prefer.
(just be careful. not only for the sake of your thumbs but for the sake of the bag. It may rip open.)

3) Freeze in a tray or container that will allow you to scrape it into flakes with a fork. This actually works pretty well.


Now eat it. Let it melt on your tongue and bring you one step closer to God.

Whoa image. It is. it's kind of ridiculous. and another citrus fruit.

Hot Sweet and Sour Glazed Shrimp

TaaDaaH!

While not entirely off my radar, I have never really loved a lot of heat in food. Something about the watering eyes/masochistic burning lips / killing taste buds thing has never made any sense to me.
It hurts.
But tastes change.
Where once I would wildly hunt the back of the Frigidaire for the salty sour of a crisp pickle, lately I've been hacking up and piecing together pepper parts like a Mad Dr.

Yes...
A Dr. pepper if you will.
Lets just say if bland is a disease, I've got the cure.

Here is a new role for that versatile out of work jam in your kitchen.
Serrano's punch up the sweet and sour of raspberry/currant/blood orange jam with roasted Pablanos yielding to a satisfying balance of heat and sweet.
It's also worth mentioning one of the greatest attributes of a mason jar glaze.
The jam sets up beautifully into a sticky high gloss that caramelizes like whoa.
This dish would be great on the BBQ with some grilled pineapple, or pan crackle it like I did.

Hot Sweet and Sour Glazed Shrimp

• 1 lb Shrimp
  
• 1 onion
  
• 3 cloves garlic
  
• 2 Serrano peppers
  
• 1 Pablano pepper
  

For the Glaze

• 2 tbsp jam (3 if you like it sweeter)
  
• 1 1/4 cup pineapple juice (or substitute orange)
  
• 2 tbsp vinegar
  
• 1 lime juiced
  
• 2/3 cup fresh cilantro
  
• 3 tbsp cornstarch.
  

* optional*
salt, pepper, cumin powder....and fish stock for the rice if your into it.
Feel free to substitute the red currant rasberry blood orange jam from last post. I won't get my feelings hurt. Try raspberry,orange marmalade,guava, or even lime!
I did do you a favor though.
As far as the cornstarch goes more makes it thick and clingy, less more saucey.
Keep this in mind when deciding whether to grill or fry.
I kept the proportion of glaze to shrimp in a 1:1 ratio so that it is easy to multiply the ingredients by the number of pounds shrimp you intend to use. See...Daddy loves you.
Now get to work.

Clean the shrimp.

Mix juice and jam in a pot and bring to a simmer.
Now dump in the vinegar and let the mixture reduce a little, finally adding the cornstarch, stirring until it is fully incorporated without any lumps.
Turn off the heat.
The glaze will thicken while you stir it.
Mix in cilantro reserving some to sprinkle on top.
Leave the glaze on the stove top. Don't panic if its a little cloudy.

Dip the shrimp into the glaze or brush them several times over, and place on a sheet or dish.

Roast the Poblano and Serrano over an open flame, then chop them up with the onion and garlic. Watch the seeds. More seeds generally means more heat.
Saute the vegetables.

When the vegetables just begin to wilt add in the glazed shrimp and sprinkle with salt/pepper/cumin powder.
Cook on each side till sort of see through and pinkish - about 4 minutes depending on whether or not you bought them pre-cooked.

Serve it with a smile.
You did a great job!

Red Currant Jam with Blood Orange and Raspberries

In like a lion out like lamb.
March has paraded into town all vibrato and big hair this year which means we are currently under the paw of some serious lion days.
Tangled in its mane, the wind is thick and the sky alternates between slate gray and a gorgeous airbrushed blue.
Airbrushed. Like the Jersey shore. "I love Nino" with palm trees on the back of a boardwalk T-shirt.
Kind of makes you want to bust open your kaboodle, tie in your favorite scrunchy and make out on the Ferris wheel doesn't it?
(OK maybe those are just my airbrush associations...
Or just a shout out to my sister).

Anyway , don't get fooled by the jam recipe.
I'm not one of those people anxiously awaiting summer even after a trip last week to visit family in Florida.
This is one of my favorite times of year.
Bulbs are peeking out to see whats going on this side of the dirt divide and weird fruit starts showing up at my grocery store.
I have a habit of buying fruit and thinking about it later,which not only explains the crowded nation of pomelos confined to my crisper, but also the jam.
You can't let food go to waste and I can't help buying it.
Last week a hot little container of tart red currants rendered my mind zombified and my wallet parted open so wide that the cashier asked if my first name was Moses.

Raspberry and Red currants are old bedfellows, matched in color, sour factor and jam-ability. Blood orange lends its distinct color to an all together gorgeous sweet and sour jam.
"Yes," I hear you say.
"But What to do with a sweet and sour jam?"
I'm like a superdelegate for jam and maybe Im campaigning a little hard but
I believe it is underutilized.
I have an unexpected use for this one and I plan on posting it next week.

Red Currant Jam with Blood orange and Raspberries

• 2 cups red currants
  
• 2 cups raspberries
  
• 3 blood oranges
  
• 2 cups sugar
  

* note there is no need for added pectin

Boil the currants in just enough water to cover them for a few minutes to soften them.
Now mash em up.
Add in the raspberries and the blood oranges peeled and cut up into small pieces.
Boil until the jam begins to reduce and get jamy.
Pour into sterilized jars and process for about 7 minutes.

This makes about 3 1/2 pints.

Grrrrrrr-ateful : Dog biscuits with peanut butter

When something is as cute as an Ewok you know your in trouble.
And trouble needs to be fed.

This Thanksgiving I wanted to give a little hot sweet love to my constant companion, Lady Baby O'Gravy.
There is no one who appreciates my cooking more.

Dog biscuits are super easy to make and the ingredients are probably already staring at you in the face when you open the cabinet. Making your own alleviates any fear of processed poisons and with the addition of olive oil and other such add ins you can be sure your pooch is getting a dose of healthy fats ,vitamins and phytonutrients.

This recipe is not intended for everyone but it is a good jumping off point.
Keep your dogs specific nutritional profile in mind when baking and avoid thins known to be toxic or hard to digest for the breed.

Dog Biscuit with P.B.

• 1 1/2 cup stock (I like chicken here but you can use beef or fish)
  
• 2 eggs
  
• 3/4 cup peanut butter
  
• 1/2 cup olive oil
  
• 3/4 cup oatmeal
  
• 1/2 cup cornmeal
  
• 1 cup all purpose flour
  
• 1 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
  

Mix the wet ingredients together and then add in the dry grains to make a dough.
Working in small batches, add extra flour as needed and roll out to about the thickness of your thumb from finger print to thumbnail - roughly under a 1/2 inch.
Cut out with a cookie cutter, jar lid or free form with a knife. Get creative.
Bake on an open cookies sheet , or the back or a rimmed cookies sheet
(simply place it upside down in the oven ) at 350 for about 30 minutes.

Store in sandwich baggies or a Tupperware container.

Red October - almost. Red Pear and Gorgonzola Risotto with Chicken

Fall got stuck in some traffic this year.
Temperatures are just starting to drop and the leaves have been kind of lazy getting undressed for winter. Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining,but my eyes have been hungry for fall color and this meal hits the spot.
Coupling red pears with a dusty sage coated risotto this dish packs a nice
one-two punch that knocked my color craving right in the kisser.

Always on the hunt for a good grab and pack snack I can eat between classes red pears materialized on my radar sometime last month like Red October.

Growing up with green and brown pears my curiosity was peaked.
Its worth noting they are a little more soft with a sweet unyielding paper-white flesh.

This recipe came by way of Epicurious, the component of Gourmet magazine. The original recipe would make a great vegetarian meal, but as a proud omnivore I used chicken stock in place of the veggie/wine mix along with a few slices of chicken breast.

Below I paraphrase and add my substitutions. Follow the above link to the original.

Red Pear and Gorgonzola Rissoto with chicken

• 4 cups chicken broth
  
• 2 chicken breasts baked and shreded
  
• 2 tbls olive oil
  
• 1 cup arborio rice
  
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh sage or 2 teaspoons dried rubbed sage
  
• 1/3 cup crumbled Gorgonzola cheese (about 2 ounces)
  
• 1 red pear very thinly sliced
  

Simmer rice in olive oil untill it is translucent.
Add in chicken stock reserving a 1/2 cup.
Cook uncovered roughly 15 minutes adding reserved liquid as needed.
At the finish mix in the pear, chicken and cheese allowing it all the heat through thoroughly.

I'm a weenie: Oktoberfest Frankfurter Casserole (Vegetarian)

Like any food nerd I have in my possession a motley crew of cookbooks.
Many have been gleaned from thrift stores,yard sales,and then there is the occasional trophy from a weekday eBay bid on company time.
My book shelves are a drunken galleon of wobbly Nikki Sixx stacks and marked up pamphlets precariously leering like so many Tommy Lee-tards .
And
to further extend the Motley Crew metaphor I’ve got going on here, I will add that like M.C. concert, the contents often vacillate between grossly unhealthy and straight up absurd.
Sometimes the collection gets out of control.
I see them for the mess they are and resolve to clean it up.
It’s a tough call but I select a few of the more useless to throw back into the thrift store donation box for another turn of recycling on the karmatic wheel that is Goodwill.
But
just like a less busty but still hot Pam Anderson I keep taking them back bad as they are.
Bizarre and entirely unpalatable as the recipes can be I can’t help but get a little turned on when I pass a greasy McCall’s cover or a dilapidated copy of ,”Family Style in 20 minutes or less."
Really though, Who would’t pop a chubby for hard boiled egg Aspic with paprika cream?
C'mon. Be honest!

Part of my infatuation stems from a love of weird line drawings.
Many of the recipe collections from the 60’s/70’s are real freak shows flanked with drawings of lactating cow bakers and inspiring quotations such as
“A day without wine is like a day without sunshine!”.

However , nuggets of wisdom aside the true root of the problem is my love of the casserole.

This recipe is very loosely adapted from a McCall’s cookbook entry.
While not quite a casserole in the way you may be accustomed to considering them
there are no crumbled Ritz crackers or ,God bless, canned fried onions on top.
It is unerringly simple and comforting, and would have been perfect for October being that October makes me think of Beer and Germans.
And that thought, in the immortal words of Jennifer Coolidge as Paulette in Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde,

”…makes me want a hot dog real bad… “

I had planned on posting this during Oktoberfest.
You can see how that went.
I know I'm kind of a weenie for cheating you, gentle reader,
but better late then never.

Of course I love the simple dump and heat spirit of the dish but I tried to make this recipe a little healthier. However this is a comfort dish so don't expect me to get all martha on you with bouegoius groceries or good china.
I used veggie dogs in an effort skip consuming carcinogenic processed meats.
Don't get me wrong I love a good hot dog fresh from the grill , but no one is grilling here and the veggie version is just as good without the lips and meatholes.
I know the butchies in the audience are groaning - go ahead if you want your meat go for it.
You will notice I’ve also teamed up the scurvy fighting power of vitamin C packed sauerkraut with the cruciferous brussel sprout for some hot cabbage on cabbage action.
Sauerkraut is fermented with lactobacillus bacteria which is a pro-biotic found in most yogurts.
I can’t claim with any authority that any lactobacillus remains in the sauerkraut by the time warm it up but it’s interesting to note.
I guess you could try eating it cold.
Just kidding.

Of course as a health conscious young man I made my biscuit dough with freshly milled whole grain flour picked with the velvet gloved beaks of free range black hens in the Alpines.
It was purchased at Whole Foods.

But if you’re a single mom or someone who else who runs all over creation and back on a daily basis , so much so that , say for example , you don’t have time to post Oktoberfest themed recipes to your food blog during the actual month of October, you could just use one of those pop-tin-pre-made-biscuit-dough-thingy’s from Pillsbury.

Not that I did that.
I’m just say’n though.


Oktoberfest Frankfurter Casserole (Vegetarian)

• 1 package soy hot dogs (or you can use the real thing)
  
• 1 package Sauerkraut
  
• 2 hand fulls of brussel sprouts (roughly one fresh container or one box frozen)
  
  
• Chives
  
• 2 tbsp dry mustard powder
  
• 1 large onion
  
• *1 tbsp caraway seeds
  
• *1 tbsp celery seeds
  
  
• *bacon / or "fake'n" slices

For The Biscuits

• 1/2 cup butter or shortening
  
• 2/3 cup milk
  
• 2 cups all purpose flour
  
• 1 tbsp baking powder
  
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
  
• 1/2 tsp cream of tartar
  
• 1/4 tsp salt

or a tin of premade biscuit dough fresh from your grocers dairy isle
* optional

Heat up the sauerkraut and add in the brussel sprouts. I would suggest cooking in the brine but if you need more water go ahead and throw some in. Add in the celery and caraway seeds if your using them along with the dry mustard powder.

Mix your biscuit dough or pop the tin (don't get scared).
If mixing, add dry ingredients together then add butter / shortening.
Add milk into center and mix until just combine.
knead for a bit and then roll dough into a long thin cylinder. If your including bacon set two pieces on each side of the hot dog then wrap the dough around each hot dog in a spiral.
Sprinkle the tops with chives.

Place in a greased baking dish and bake at 400 for about 10 -15 minutes.
When its finished add in the brussel sprout and sauerkraut mix and serve.